Totally Accurate Battle Simulator is the proper recreation to overview throughout a very intense interval of parenthood-induced sleep deprivation. It requires minimal focus and caters completely to an abridged consideration span, but from this generates a large quantity of selection, spectacle, and humour. Basically, you get much more out than what you place in, and proper now that makes TABS my finest good friend in the entire world.
The premise is that traditional pub query of “Who would win in a fight between X and Y?” Yet moderately than dealing in one-on-one hypotheticals, similar to Batman versus Bruce Lee, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator broadens the scope to historic and legendary armies. You can pit cavemen in opposition to medieval knights, samurai in opposition to Greek hoplites, renaissance musketeers in opposition to farmers (that iconic preventing pressure).
Unlike the native pub bore banging on about why Richard the Lionheart would undoubtedly beat a World War 1 Tank (he wouldn’t), TABS doesn’t attempt to take its patently absurd query severely. Regardless of what historic period or fantasy they derive from, each combatant in TABS is represented as a goggle-eyed, flaccid-limbed model that, relying on which facet it’s on, is colored both pink or blue. There’s equally no try to copy genuine battle technique or fight ways. Instead, each sword-swing and cannon-shot is powered by the sport’s extremely elastic physics engine.
The result’s, principally, a procedural comedy generator. Depending on whether or not you’re enjoying in marketing campaign or sandbox mode, you organize both your military or each armies as you see match. Either manner, the outcome is similar – a ridiculous debacle. Simply watching two lone enemies duel is hilarious. They flail round like drunk toddlers armed with pool noodles, usually lacking one another completely and falling over with a moist slap. At the bigger scale, our bodies usually find yourself flying like meaty confetti, whether or not they’re struck by a very highly effective blow, or by artillery weapons like cannons or boulders.
TABS is of course amusing, nevertheless it doesn’t relaxation on these ticklish laurels. Considerable effort has gone into making it each humorous and a correct recreation, one with sufficient construction and technique to maintain you invested. On the humorous facet, this comes right down to developer Landfall intentionally cranking up the absurd issue. Your armies don’t battle silently. They grunt, squeal, jabber and honk at one another as in the event that they’ve all stumbled into an episode of Pingu. There are a number of good visible touches too, like how the goggle eyes flip into black-crosses when models die.
Most of all although, the humour derives from the models themselves. While most armies embrace the anticipated fundaments of a preventing pressure (the cavemen have clubmen and spear-throwers, whereas the medieval military has squires, archers and knights), most armies additionally function extra eclectic models. The Renaissance forces, for instance, have balloon-archers, who connect inflatable hydrogen balloons to their arrows which pull struck enemies into the sky, then explode, plummeting them to the bottom. The Dynasty faction, in the meantime, has Ninjas who can throw shurikens at an astonishing charge, alongside a ballista-type artillery weapon that may unleash a large volley of arrows. A few the factions are ludicrous from the bottom up. The farmers’ ranks comprise of halflings and bottle-throwing potion sellers, whereas the pirates have barrel-wearing blunderbuss wielders who’re often knocked down by the recoil of their very own weapons.
It’s the gaming equal a KFC selection bucket – enjoyable, messy, and completely freed from dietary worth. Or not less than, it might be with out the marketing campaign mode, which provides construction and technique to TABS’ anarchic tendencies. There are literally a number of campaigns, together with a tutorial marketing campaign, a few challenge-based campaigns, and a number of other faction-specific campaigns. Each of those includes quite a few battles the place you’re given a set military you must defeat. You’re given a pool of money to spend on models, which varies relying on the dimensions and kind of military you face. Sometimes the sport can even restrict you to a specific military sort, however you’ll be able to often combine and match.
What shortly turns into obvious is that the kind of military you area has a real impression in your possibilities of victory. I might usually area armies comprised completely of a single unit sort, and I used to be wonderful how a military of ninjas might totally annihilate the enemy in a single degree, then get battered all the best way again to Japan on the following. Crucially, whereas there’s in all probability an optimum option to full every degree, there’s hardly ever a “right” option to strategy them. TABS retains most of its challenges open-ended, and if you happen to’ll fail the primary time, you’ll virtually definitely succeed by your third try.
TABS has an easy premise executed brilliantly, and as such it has little in the best way of issues. One might argue it isn’t a very deep recreation, however one might simply counterargue that that is a part of its attraction moderately than a flaw. TABS additionally isn’t brief on content material both. The mixed campaigns simply quantity to between 10 and 20 hours of play, and past that there’s downloadable customized campaigns, and a multiplayer which gives a few of the most enjoyable single-screen aggressive motion since Worms: Armageddon.
TABS is a brilliantly daft distraction, playable for minutes or hours. It’s foolish and disposable, but in addition has simply sufficient nuance to it to maintain you gripped. If you need a recreation that’s easy, pure, unadulterated enjoyable, then wobble over to Steam and flail it into your library.